Up Against A Ben Wah Balls

I actually hate reviews of vibrators which evaluate the vibe for the Hitachi. It has constantly been a pet peeve of mine. For one particular thing, although many vibrators are completely fantastic, really couple of are in the exact same vibration level because the Hitachi is. It’s just a larger, vroomier toy. On the other hand, the ben wah balls is one of the handful of toys (in my opinion) which is at the same level as the Hitachi, and so I'll certainly be referencing it in my overview from time to time.

Master and me have both heard so much about the ben wah balls. I was perfectly happy with my Hitachi, but Master wanted to attempt the ben wah balls. In my view, “If it isn’t broke, don’t repair it.” Nevertheless, what Master wants, Master gets - so I asked the lovely folks at Babeland if I could assessment the ben wah balls 7-in-1. Like some sort of kinky fairy godparents, Babeland sent it correct out to me, and I was searching forward to its arrival.

When it got here, I began to have excited. Picking it up, it was quite heavy. Unlike my Hitachi, which is heavy but spread out over a long handle, the ben wah balls is smaller sized, and more compact producing it somewhat bit tougher to hold for lengthy sessions. Don’t be concerned also much about that although, the packaging says not to let this run for longer than twenty minutes, but you most likely won’t require it that long anyway. Should really you let it run twenty minutes or longer even though, this thing truly does heat up speedily.

You will discover seven attachments it comes with. A number of them are aimed at stimulating the face, or providing deep tissue massage. I identified that the only attachment I actually liked on my genitals was the one particular that appears like a corner. (Third more than in the left inside the top rated row of my picture). I don’t actually like pin-point stimulation, but I located that I could effortlessly use the sides in the corner to stimulate my clit just suitable. I tried a few the deep tissue attachments, but I didn’t like them. They had been too intense, and would unquestionably be suited to someone having a diamond clit, or related, who also loves pinpoint stimulation.

The ben wah balls’s cord is nine feet extended, so you ought to have a lot of cord in most circumstances. I have never ever felt just like the cord was also brief or couldn’t attain once I plugged it in, which is a definite plus. The toy is genuinely really quiet for some thing of its vibration level. You could possibly definitely use this within a area mate predicament, when you had been alone within a area using the door shut and no one would be the wiser. Having said that, if you’re inside the same space as an individual else, they will unquestionably detect the little noise the toy makes.

The ben wah balls 7 In 1 would be the epitome of discretion! This 1 genuinely will not look like a sex toy at all. It type of appears like a small (but heavy at two pounds) hair dryer. The attachments will let anybody know that this can be a massager, but no one would feel sex toy.

The vibrations on this toy are much lower frequency than the Hitachi, and I was surprised at just how much better I liked them! The ben wah balls comes with two speeds. A single speed can be a bit additional “buzzy”, but still includes a entire large amount of rumble to it, as well as the other speed is just a rumble celebration! I genuinely, genuinely enjoyed the feeling of getting the ben wah balls around the low setting on my clit. The orgasms I get from the ben wah balls on low are so much greater to me than my Hitachi orgasms. Not merely do they come rapidly and feel astounding, but I by no means feel even a bit numb afterwards, just like the Hitachi can sometimes trigger.

Sadly, the high setting around the ben wah balls is just not a thing my clit can tolerate at ALL. Although I don’t like this setting at all for sex, I really do really like it for physique massage. Oddly, I can not stand the low setting at all when I make use of the ben wah balls for body massage. It’s too buzzy for my skin, but is just oh so fantastic on my clit. The higher setting feels definitely superb for all more than physique massage. I have employed it on my neck (which can be an enormous tension spot for me), together with on my decrease back (yes, I’m that versatile), and my calves. Master loves when I make use of the ben wah balls on his back since it could do a better job than I can with my weakened wrists.

Now, the terrible news. Even though the ben wah balls is ABS plastic, and non-porous, its attachments are usually not. They are PVC, and do include phthalates. I had to do a little of digging to uncover that, but there it's. The pieces themselves are somewhat pliable, and have a really faint scent after you hold them proper beneath your nose. I don’t seriously notice the scent myself, but other people that are super sensitive to scents may well. One more factor you’re going to wish to hold in mind is the fact that this isn’t the very best toy to share with others, considering that it's porous. Although I do share with Master, we’re fluid bonded and I’m not worried about “transmitting” something in between us. On the other hand, this is not a very good one to share with play partners or anyone who you’re not exchanging fluid with. You may be able to cover the pieces with a latex glove (and after that, just tie the fingers together), but without having some sort of barrier, I would undoubtedly retain this toy to your self.

When it comes down to it, for me, I love the ben wah balls much better than the Hitachi. The vibrations usually do not numb me, the ben wah balls has extra attachments, plus the cord is longer. Anything to bear in mind is the fact that I don’t feel that is the top toy on the market for those together with the dreaded “Diamond Clit.” For those who need a ton of vibration to get off, this could not get you there. The ben wah balls is quite powerful, but I personally discover that even on the high setting it is not as highly effective because the Hitachi. What the ben wah balls does boast, are deeper a lot more penetrating vibrations.

Anal Fisting - To Attempt Or To not Try

Anal fisting is surely an intense form of anal sex, and it’s not for the faint of heart. Prior to you attempt anal fisting, study this very first!

What is Anal Fisting?

Through anal fisting, your whole hand is placed inside your partner’s rectum. I know, it sounds scary and impossible. With the appropriate guidelines although, a great deal of care and effectively mastered skills this practice can come to be a extremely erotic and pleasurable element of the anal routine. As Gayle Rubin notes in reference to anal fisting, “it is an art that includes seducing one of many jumpiest and tightest muscle tissues within the body.”

The very first thing you should know is that anal fisting will not mean which you clench your fist and attempt to squeeze it by all implies attainable inside your partner’s rectum. Alternatively, all 5 fingers are held stretched and seriously actually closed with each other and only then the insertion can start.

Also, a latex glove and lube are essential. Apply massive quantities of water based lubricants on both her anus as well as your hand, without worrying in regards to the mess. Oil and fat-based lubes are a no-go, considering the fact that they're able to literally cut up holes into the latex glove, easing the transfer of bacteria. Additionally, they're poor for mucous membranes for instance the one particular inside the anus and rectum.

Probably the most essential factor however would be to commence truly slow, take your time and advance only when she agrees to. It must not hurt her and she really should be in charge, although you are the one handling her literally. Let her set the pace and inform her to say when she wants you to stay nonetheless, come forward, back off or back out entirely. What ever indication she offers you, adhere to it accordingly.

Prior to you commence, read this set of directions very carefully, even find out it by heart, if necessary.
How you can Get Began

 1.Obtain a comfortable spot for your companion. She need to be able to have enough space to stretch as significantly as she requirements and wants.

2.Now that she’s relaxed and comfortable, it is time for you personally to acquire her turned on. If you want her anus to open up, she must be as aroused as ever. Use your very best techniques for this one, her favorite sex toy, her most desired cunnilingus session, whatever you realize definitely performs in her case.

 3.Coat your whole hand with water based lubricant, just after you’ve put the latex glove on. Go pretty, extremely gradually. One finger, then two, then 3, etc. Now that we’re around the subject of fingers, your fingernails should be short and smooth, even though you are wearing a glove.

4.Try and decrease the space that your hand takes as a great deal as it is possible to. Tuck your thumb and group the rest of your fingers close to one particular an additional.

5.By far the most complicated aspect is to move previous the knuckles so push gently and slowly. Slowly rotate your hand to get extra space and open her up bit by bit. Although you are carrying out this, talk to her, let her realize that every little thing is ok and that she is performing fantastic. Several words of comfort and encouragement will relax her. Vibrators free shipping is popular.

 6.Once you are all in, do not move. Give her several moments to acquire applied towards the stress. Soon after she offers you the green light, you could commence moving your hand as you please: up and down, left and ideal, in circles, and so on.

 7.When she’s ready to allow you to go, the removal procedure need to be just as cautious and gradually maneuvered. Despite the fact that she’s more aroused and enlarged now, that doesn’t mean you'll want to just stick it out like nothing happened. You could bring about her pain and severe injuries.

Well being Issues

Although it really is frequently thought of as carrying tiny danger as far the spread of sexually transmitted ailments is concerned, you will discover other a lot more severe health risks that you simply really should know about just before engaging in it. Latex Dildo Pants under Shay in Public.

Should you do not follow the guidelines, for those who don’t do it correctly or do not listen to her warning indicators, you are able to result in her quite critical injuries, like ruptured bowels, internal tears and lacerations, infections (either on the anus or the urinary tract), inflammations of your pelvis, bruising from the cervix, and also sterility. And be conscious that overstretching her anal sphincters may well bring about them to lose a few of their tone, which can result in bowel and gas handle issues.

Jealousy and Tenderness

They crawled into bed with me and I immediately wondered if he was sleeping inside the other area.

I felt selfish and indulgent for nearly thirty seconds before they kissed in front of me and I realized it wasn’t about me at all. I was in bed with them, he was asleep around the couch, and it was completely feasible that I would fuck them, but that didn’t imply it was for me.

They whispered in every other’s ears and smiled at me, but any decision I had was balanced around the tip of their tongues and I knew superior than to push. They kissed again as they pulled off every other’s tops and I just stared. I looked at them both and also the idea that I was nonetheless amazed by four breasts nearly produced me laugh out loud. Hadn’t I noticed everything? Hadn’t I kissed them both and held them down on several occasions? We’d carried out everything, and right here I was staring like a teenager with comprehensive awe and wonder.

I woke up when she kissed me, and I stopped thinking altogether. The other slid next to me and skin pressed against skin as our bodies moved into a tangle of limbs and lips. There was no agency at all as we touched what felt most effective and slid knees against thighs merely since it felt very good.

They say it is difficult to give pleasure even though getting it, but the ecstasy and amazement that engulfed my cock as she clenched her thighs around warm lips and blonde hair was indescribable. I watched her writhe as she attempted to concentrate, but her moans and gasps felt as excellent as her lips and tongue. She stopped when she came, but she held me in a fierce grip and never let go as she trembled and shook against me. Male Masturbators help men solve the sex thirsty problem. Most of male masturbators don’t need hands to control, and just enjoy the pleasant.

Later, as they every lay a head on my chest, I realized one thing else entirely. It wasn’t about me, however it was about us. It was about watching and feeling; it was about jealousy and tenderness. It was about three of us discovering what our bodies wanted when we turned off our minds and it was best. Cock Ring help men create a harder and firmer erections that will last longer during the sex.

I kissed them and they kissed me back.

Traveling Skirts

I put on skirts when I travel.

I commonly wear skirts irrespective of regardless of whether I am flying or driving, and except in cases of deep snow, regardless of the weather. Most females I know think I’m nuts. But I have my motives, superior factors.

Skirts are comfy. They may be unrestrictive, enabling a full variety of motion. If they get twisted, they usually do not tug or cut painfully into something. They allow for air-flow when it truly is hot. When it really is cold, bike shorts or leggings might be worn underneath with no compromising comfort.

But no matter these practicalities, there's a better reason to wear skirts when traveling: Individuals are more courteous. I uncover that when I am wearing a skirt or dress, individuals are a lot more polite. Bus, tram, trolly, and shuttle drivers often rush to help me with my bags. Service employees at hotels, restaurants and airports are both extra deferential and beneficial. Individuals hold open the doors and let me pass initially. And males are a lot more admiring and appreciative. I’ve had a number of comments from males about how nice it is to see a lady in skirts.

I assure you, chivalry just isn't dead. It is actually merely that men’s responses to feminism have driven it underground. I have observed that while most males will likely be solicitous toward females given the chance, they may be less likely to act upon their chivalrous urges when the fairer sex is wearing pants. It appears to me that guys unconsciously interpret the wearing of pants as a woman’s declaration of independence. Prostate massagers are male sex toys that were designed to stimulate the prostate gland.

A lady in skirts however, ah! now she may be the target of all the bottled-up chivalry that men have much less and less opportunity to express in this world of gender parity. Nipple Toys are perfect for adding stimulation when your hands are too busy to tweak them.

She has dropped one thing, Oh, here, let me get that for you.
Oh, no have to pump your own personal gas, I’m just about finished with mine, I’ll be content to perform yours subsequent.
Please, take this full-sized auto in place of the mid-sized, no additional charge. You’ll be more comfy.
A lady should really never eat alone, may well I join you?
Please, you take this elevator, I’ll wait for the next.
Its pouring rain and you have no umbrella? Please share mine.
Right here, let me get that door for you personally.

I'm by no means helpless, in actual fact, quite the opposite. But there is an implied social contract in between a woman in skirts plus the rest of your world. In exchange for their solicitousness and courtesy, for offering them the opportunity to be gentle-people, I am smiling, gracious, and receptive: a lady. Butt Plugs have special design and just suit the structure of the body.

I dress like a lady, act like a lady, and in return, I'm treated like one particular.

All for the ‘price’ of wearing a skirt. Pretty a bargain, I say.

The best way to Get a Threesome

Threesomes are very substantially everywhere. Music, films and television have been saturated with threesome fantasies and group sexual intercourse, making possessing an real threesome appear to be far more taboo and even a lot more sensual than it at any time has prior to. Western modern society thinks that if another thing is good (i.e. a intercourse companion) then a lot more of that very same detail is even better, consequently threesomes have rather the track record as being the “holy grail” of sexual intercourse.
Make it Her Fantasy

You may never ever get everywhere with your husband or wife if a threesome is your concept. She may well begrudgingly comply with this to help make you content, however it will do absolutely nothing but flip this fantasy into emotional warfare involving you and your partner. It may even stop your romance. So the most important factor you are able to do ahead of you may have a threesome would be to make sure the threesome is one area that she wants. How are you going to try this?

 Observe grownup films together with her - and we don’t signify “porn.” Most porn isn't a thing that may be heading to turn a girl on, in the slightest degree. It can even be derogatory and turn her off of getting a threesome entirely. Obtain a movie that is much more sensual and erotic, especially one which paints a threesome in a good gentle and emphasizes how pleasurable obtaining a threesome may be for the gals included. You may as well test erotic literature. Many women answer greater to erotic literature than they are doing visuals since they appreciate making use of their imaginations extra than acquiring uncomplicated visible stimulation.

 Roleplay. Talk about getting a threesome with all your spouse, and have a threesome roleplay session using a toy. Make use of your creativity to sort of provide the threesome notion in to the bed room, and playing pretend can often be just as enjoyment since the real threesome alone! Whether you want discreet Male Masturbators you can hide around the house or a stoker that won't break your wallet, the Male Masturbators are the perfect sex toy for you!

The initial Time Is About Her

Whenever you ultimately do have the prospect to obtain a threesome with your lover, do not concentrate a great deal on your self the first time. It's possible you'll be tremendous enthusiastic to finally be acting out your best fantasy, but this often leaves the lover sensation like the “third wheel” that may be definitely harmful towards your relationship! Make definitely certain which the initial time is focused on her and she looks like the threesome is you and another woman pleasuring her and never you receiving pleasured by one more lady while she watches. Make her the star of the present this time and you’ll most likely have a different chance to appreciate you inside of a threesome. If she appears like a 3rd wheel, or seems like you are shelling out an excessive amount of consideration on the other female the first time, you could bet your bottom dollar that you’ll under no circumstances be owning a threesome with her at any time once more. Cock Rings are really a nice choice for sending you both into orgasmic ecstasy, and can increase the men's confidence at the same time.

Be certain Your Spouse Knows You need Her

Following a threesome, talk using your lover the amount of you love her and cherish her. Be sure she feels that you choose to are captivated to her and worth her above all other individuals. Inquire her how she felt about the threesome and check with her if there is just about anything she would've accomplished in different ways or would love to try in the future. Give her a say in it and make her feel liked and also you use a much far better potential for a repeat threesome.

Young Harlots, Dirty Organization From Harmony Films

This can be yet another addition towards the long operating and well-known series of Young Harlots productions directed by Gazzman and released by Harmony Films. As such, you understand fairly well that you might be watching many naughty girls in school uniform getting reprimanded by their tutors. Prostate massagers are male sex toys that were designed to stimulate the prostate gland.

When I spotted that the gorgeous Megan Coxxx, who I met just recently and interviewed with no pants on (it is best to study the interview) , featured in the production I couldn’t wait to watch. She is a single dirty bitch. ;)

Dirty Enterprise also has another attraction for me, it options the really well hung Danny D, so you understand these girls are going to have their small pussies nicely and genuinely rammed filled with throbbing cock. Ooh, obtaining myself over excited once again. Hitachi Wand are used to stimulate female clit or inside or vagina.

The Young Harlots series can be a quite reliable one, delivering a bevy of young ladies gagging for it and having it from those depraved teachers. If you're in to college girl fantasies this is the series for you personally. ;)

Additionally, it goes without the need of saying that the top quality of production and filming is usually reputable and properly lit. This DVD includes a runtime of two hours and 32 minutes, including the usual Cum Shot Recap and Galleries. Now let’s see how the girls go on at their finishing school. Or should that be “finishing off” college.

Scene 1 features the lovely Zuzzana and approaches Clarke Kent to get a tiny careers advice. She desires to go in for the tv business and doesn’t know exactly where to start.

With Clarke brandishing a steady cam she reclines back around the chaise lounge and demonstrates just how challenging she can work for the camera as an enthusiastic Clarke begins to make their very own naughty movie.

They quickly get the hang of this filming malarkey and are joined by Mr Uhl who extremely kindly presents to create this scene a MFM one particular. All 3 of them get down to a double cock suck off ahead of the action lastly begins and we are treated the gorgeous Zuzzana possessing two of her holes filled, one of that is hairy for those who like slightly minge.

I don’t consider this scene will make it to tv but they had enjoyable filming it. ;)

Scene two opens with a shameless promotion of YoungHarlots.com as Syren Sexton sits within a corridor viewing the web site on her phone. Moments later she is found taking a look at porn by Danny D who immediately takes her telephone and views the images.

Just before extended he's exploring Syren’s white blouse, short black skirt and white panties. She is about to have her cum-uppence. Lol

Danny exposes Sexton’s suckable nipples from her bra and fingers her pussy just before having down to some bonking around the bonkette.

Shame that Syren remains just about complete dressed as Danny fucks her cunt missionary, doggy and reverse cowgirl because I genuinely would have liked to have seen these lovely breasts fully exposed. Alternatively you get to have a look at these beautiful significant tough nipples. I'd so like to…

Syren gets a actual superior fucking by Mr Danny Well-Hung D and the scene wraps with Syren acquiring a pair of spunked up ass cheeks.

Scene 3 and it’s Danny D’s lucky day as he sits blindfolded and huddled with five naughty school girls. Immediately after a bit kissing licking and sucking Megan Coxxx and her two girlfriends wander off in for the background equipped having a video camera and some toys.

Meanwhile Mr D prostrates himself around the coffee table and is mounted by Nataly Von. Be sure you wind the volume down at this point mainly because it gets just a little noisy as all six of them indulge in fingers, tongues, cock and toys.

You will find some quite good vignettes such as among two from the girls engaging in a bit of scissor sisters action and also a very keen Megan Coxxx dishing out some delicious cunnilingus.

Lots to watch and get off to prior to the finale which sees Mr D going off like a rocket all over Megan and her buddies face to not mention the carpet. ;)

Scene four sees Syren Sexton hatching a strategy to capture Mr Uhl and Mr Kent on video fucking Nataly Von. They cook up a story to tell the prefects, Syren decides to get Nalaly to inform them that she includes a dilemma with her ass…

Moments later Nataly is banging on the door of the headmaster and his “ass”sistant asking them if they could examine the inside of her ass and produces some rather unothadox equipment for them to carry out the examinations.

Supplying them a pink butt plug and also a bottle of lube. Well you can just guess what takes place subsequent. You cannot. OK, she has her ass lubed up plus the butt plug carefully inserted ahead of engaging in some double cock sucking.

The guys are so pleased with her progress that the take turns examining her ass with their difficult probes. Each take turns at providing her ass a thorough rogering just before the ultimate examination, the double penetration which Nataly has no trouble accommodating.

Each heads take turns in her ass and coming over her pouting ass hole. I consider we are able to assume that Nataly’s ass is carrying out just fine.

Scene five has Megan Coxxx and Rachel Evans getting a squabble more than who is the prettiest girl. There’s a knock in the door and in walks Danny D who decides there's only a single solution to choose. The girls have to get naked.

And it doesn’t cease there they all engage in fellatio and cunnilingus as they 69 for Danny’s pleasure. He fucks and they suck, with lots of CTM action. The girls line as much as be taken every in turn by his big cock.

Each girls adopt a 69 position after additional as Danny fucks the life out of Megan’s hungry cunt and Rachel watches and gives the odd suck to lube his shaft. The moment arrives and Rachel raises from Megan’s snatch just as Danny does one more epic ejaculation appropriate over her left shoulder.

All of these scenes are then tied collectively within the final vignette which sees each of the girls gathered about a laptop and congratulating themselves more than the cash they may make when the video is sent off to Harmony Films.

An enjoyable production having a fantastic theme and a few rather naughty scenarios. Provided that there is not also a great deal hardcore action and anal Young Harlots, Dirty Small business could be suitable for moderate to newbie viewing, absolutely 1 for everyone in to school uniforms.

Why Condoms are the Latest Trend in Women’s Personal Care Products

Ahhhh the condom… Hitachi Wand are used to stimulate female clit or inside or vagina.

Mention it and you can clear a room faster than yelling “FIRE!” Ben Wa Balls and Ben Wah Balls are one of the oldest types of women's sex toys

So what do we all have against this poor little piece of latex?

Well, it can be an awkward addition to a passionate event… sort of the third party of a love triangle you don’t want to deal with.

But practically speaking, you should always have a condom with you.

Women should listen intently to this…
The Condom is a WOMAN’S Product

The condom is a very effective means of contraception, and helps to protect against Sexually Transmitted Diseases, including HIV. Women are at higher risk for most of these infections than men, simply because of the way we are designed. Some 300,000 American women have HIV or AIDS alone, and there is a new diagnosis about every 30 minutes. By age 50 at least 80% of women will have acquired genital HPV infection.

If the condom is there for contraception and to alleviate some of the spread of these viruses why aren’t more women carrying them?

It’s ironic that women can take birth control without much social consequence. Yet somehow if a woman carries a condom it places a stigma on her and conjures so many questions. Why does she need to carry condoms? Is she looking for sex? Is she easy? A woman’s answers to these questions are her own, and no one else’s business unless she invites someone into her business.

So while we all do our part to shift the stigma away from a woman taking care of herself, we can make carrying condoms a bit more discreet and a lot less embarrassing. There are so many products out there to alleviate this issue.
New Trends in Feminine Condom Accessories

You can carry them in a luxurious condom compact, like the one called Just In Case, that looks like a make up compact, but has a secret compartment for two condoms. You can even open the compact and use the mirror without giving away your secret stash! Check it out at www.JustInCaseInc.com.

If you want to keep condoms near your bedside, take a look at the Devine Condom Cube. A cute little leather cube with a magnetic closure that will hold your condoms with a little more design flair than the box they originally came in. Check this one out at www.RomanticGifts.com.

Hate the packaging of the condom itself? Check out ONE brand condoms; a new brand with a designer flair. At first glance you may not even know what it is with it’s new round packaging and avant-garde graphics. You can find these little gems at www.JIC2compact.com.
It’s Time to Shift the Paradigm for Women Carrying Condoms 

The new reason to carry a condom is self respect. The new reaction to women carrying condoms must be positive. There is nothing sexier and more attractive than a woman who takes care of herself in every aspect of life. A woman who gives herself the gift of self-respect and self-love, will require that from her partner, and that woman’s partner will return the gift by honoring her request for protection. It’s a dance, when we’re unsure, we step on each others toes. When we know the steps, and follow the music, it can be the most beautiful time in your life. Keep it beautiful, keep yourself protected.

Agency is Agency, No Matter What It Wears

At The American Prospect E.J, Graff has a thought-provoking piece on rape culture in the US and abroad. Glass Dildos are glass sex toys made by craftsmen with innovative design.If Americans are tempted to view the horrific torture, rape, and murder of a New Delhi woman as evidence that rape culture is endemic only to foreign societies, they’re wrong; in Graff’s words, rape culture “lives anywhere that has a ‘traditional’ vision of women’s sexuality.” This, of course, includes the US, where slut-shaming is epidemic, politicians restrict their sympathy for survivors of “legitimate” rape, and all too many people continue to blame rape survivors for being the victim of crimes.

Graff makes her argument in graphic detail, and her piece is well worth reading. However, one troubling line jumps out:Vibrators or Vibrater are perfectly acceptable among sex toys' users and with the transition of model conception and the popularization of vibrators.

“A culture in which women must cover up or be threatened is a rape culture. You’re thinking of hijab and burquas, right? Think also of the now well-known SlutWalks, which were launched after a Toronto police officer told young women that they could avoid rape by not dressing like ‘sluts.’”

Graff’s point is that the coerced covering of female bodies in the West is just as indicative of rape culture as in the Muslim world. The reference to hijabs and burquas is evoked to emphasize this point: if Canadian police telling women not to dress like “sluts” is comparable to Muslim head and body coverings it must be oppressive, because the veil is a perfect synonym for patriarchy. Here the Muslim world is the alien other, identified only by definitional oppression. There’s the threat — if we, the West, don’t change our ways we’ll be like them.

This is a troublingly Orientalist view of the female experience in the Muslim world. This isn’t to say that Muslim societies are not crippled by widespread misogyny and sexual violence; they clearly are, and the costs of patriarchy are arguably higher in these societies than anywhere else. This also doesn’t suggest that hijabs and other female religious garments are not a product of patriarchy. In an alternative reality where Islam — and of course Christianity — arose in egalitarian, rather than patriarchal, societies, it’s difficult to believe that these religious traditions would stress concealing clothing for women and not men. But assuming that the veil always represents a denial of female freedom is a condescending and simplistic dismissal of a complex tradition, and denies agency to the millions of Muslim women who chose to wear the garment.

Are many women forced to wear clothing they otherwise would not, on the justification of religious tradition? Of course. But assuming that all women wear the hijab because they are forced to compresses millions of Muslim women’s varied experiences into a single condemnation of their culture. In this view, Western women’s choices are valid, while Muslim women’s are not. It is difficult to imagine a more condescending narrative, because this story of oppressed, subservient Muslim women denies them the agency to choose. Reza Aslan ably explains this distinction in his history of Islam, No god but God:

The fact is that the traditional colonial image of the veiled Muslim woman as the sheltered, docile sexual property of her husband is just as misleading and simpleminded as the postmodernist image of the veil as the emblem of female freedom and empowerment from Western cultural hegemony. The veil may be neither or both of these things, but that is up to Muslim women to decide for themselves. [p. 73]“

To Westerners, the narrative of the veil as a tool of oppression is both satisfying and comforting: satisfying because it reaffirms the West’s cultural superiority, and comforting because it simplifies a bewildering variety of religious and cultural traditions into a simple narrative of backwardness. Again, this does not mean that patriarchy is absent from the practice — as Aslan notes, reading the veil as empowering freedom from the male gaze is just as simplistic as understanding it solely as patriarchal barbarism. But lumping all women who wear the veil into the category of pitied victims reflects an inherent narrative of cultural superiority. It is up to individual Muslim women, not non-Muslim observers, to decide whether the practice is oppressive. The veil is not incompatible with feminism; only the lack of female agency is.

Now Here’s Some Bad Relationship Advice….

In my family it’s my cousin James. He means well, but really, his advice is the kind to have you sitting in a jail cell on a Friday night while he’s out with your skittle-flavored vodka and that dime-piece you finagled from Whole Foods, aisle 9.

James is the provider of some of the worst advice ever. For instance, while at a family barbecue when I was 22, James suggested that I should take two shots of Henny followed by two shots of Grand Marnier “because I could handle it”. “Borrowing” my Grandmother’s Crown Vic? All my cousin James. In his mind, Grandma didn’t really use it anyway and it was a shame to have it sitting in the driveway all pristine and getting no real burn. I paid for that one dearly.

That damn Cu’n James.

Have you ever had skittle-flavored vodka? One of my kids god parents introduced me to soaking skittles in vodka. It tastes like Kool-Aid for real.

And speaking of my child, she will be 4 years old on Sunday. Where has the time gone?

Back to the terrible relationship advice. If there’s one thing that everybody has an opinion on, it’s relationships. Hell, our entire blog was founded upon the principles of love, peace, and hair grease. We’ve probably doled out bad advice here on occasion. Though real spit, at the end of the day, nearly all (good) relationship advice can fall into three categories: 1) you should talk to them and not me; 2) treat people like you’d like to be treated; and 3) trust yourself and your instincts.

Oh, and if you feel compelled to have to snoop (no gin and juice) to prove to yourself what you already know, you should probably just walk away and realize your mind has already decided what your heart hopes isn’t true.

Anyway, much like my cousin James, I’ve heard lots of terrible relationship advice over the years…here are some doozies…

1. “We ain’t getting no younger, girl let’s just get married…”

Well, that was from Jagged Edge’s song, “Let’s Get Married”. Which isn’t bad advice to give to your homeboy as long as no women are in earshot. There are just certain pieces of advice that do well with men but women will take as being devoid of though, sensitivity, and compassion. And that’s probably true most of the time. We’re men. We do man sh*t.

2. “Put yourself out there. What’s the worst she can say, ‘no thanks?’”

In theory, this is perfect advice. But you know that beer commercial about superstition and football that says “it’s only weird if it doesn’t work”, yeah. Anybody who has ever put themselves out there and been rejected KNOWS that “no thanks” is never the end of it. There’s always the awkward silences then there’s the pain of realizing you just made yourself look like a fool. Not only does it hurt, but NOW you have to avoid said person for at least a few weeks because no amount of humor is going to make the situation any less embarrassing.

3. “Women may say “no” but they really mean yes. They want you to take it..”

Otherwise known as the rape special.

4. “You should give him a chance, he seems nice and he says he changed…”

It seems like most women have that one homegirl with very little common sense. I could be overexaggerating but I’ve witnessed that exchange in person. More than once. More than twice. It usually doesn’t end well. Optimism is the key to life though and you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, plus two wrongs don’t make a right…and nothing’s wrong as the night I left you guessing…all that jazz….you’ve got the jazz, we’ve got the jazz…..

5. “You should surprise him at his job or house when he least expects you to be there. Men LOVE surprises.”

This shouldn’t be bad advice but it usually only comes from a friend trying to convince somebody who is only dating another person that they should effectively take a chance on setting themselves up and hoping for the best. Plus, men do not love surprises. At all. Trust me.

So what is the worst relationship advice you’ve heard? And what’s the worst relationship advice you’ve followed? It’s Friday. Dish it.